Monday Humor

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Living a fuller life is experiencing everything possible out there. Happiness is a choice and it should not be dependent on things, it should be based on basic contentment, gratitude that we have a life to experience; contentment is being grateful that you can hear but cannot see, it is contentment when you can see but cannot walk…  it is contentment when you can eat a square meal and have a friend who and you accept each other without demands. I have found happiness is a choice and gratitude is the pillar on which it stands.  Enjoy the following humor

Note: This is the only writing that is not my own at the
Mike Ghouse
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference
between the two words. In a way that’s easy to understand.
Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE
& FINISHED. I beg to differ because, there is!!!
When you marry the right MAN, you are “COMPLETE”..
And when you marry the wrong one, you are “FINISHED”!
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are …
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly
And said, ‘This will make you happy tonight.’
He was right!
When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn’t get back in.
Saturday  morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage.  I hooked up the boat up to the  van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house,  quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”
And that’s how the fight started…
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age.
 I looked in my  pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.  I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
 She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.  She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.’
And then the fight started…
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