Listening is a powerful skill

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your recent date, meeting with your business partner or the sale you wrapped up?  Do you recall he/she pouring her heart out and telling all the good, bad and ugly things of life? If you listen to him/her intently with all
your heart, mind and soul, you’d become his/her best friend.   
Communication is a two Way Street, once she realizes that you have heard her,
and effortlessly let her know what you understood, it bonds you. There is nothing more powerful than listening.

There is not a soul on this
earth who would not want to be understood, repeating what you just heard from
the other is very effective; you don’t have to agree, but just acknowledge what
she/he said, once that acknowledgement takes place, and people will fall head
over heels for you, if they feel you really understood them. There are times we
wreck that ideal intentionally or accidentally.

I have met a few individuals who are super good listeners…among
them General Pervaz Musharraf ranks very high for his listening skills along
with (I blame him for what he did to Pakistan, and sequentially to the possible
relationship with India) a few other great ones.

Last night I met someone who beat Musharraf in listening test; former Congressman Ron Paul. Hell, he is a damn good
listener, even though we met for 5 minutes or less, he listened to me and
repeated what he understood – about Libertarianism and Pluralism. 

 I was in a press conference
in 2001-2 with Musharraf in Washington Press Club – when he walked out, I was
determined to have a minute with him and he gave “7” instead. My
Questions were direct, “should something happen to you, do you have a backup
plan?”  He told me that he has the plans –
that was pure BS. Then I asked him to initiate Cricket Diplomacy – he was right,
it was up to the sports clubs and not him. Now during those few minutes, his
ambassador Lodhi, interrupted twice – he turned around and told her, I gave
this man 7 minutes and if you interrupt, I will add that time back,  she walked away… he listened to everything I
said and repeated. That is a quality we all can learn.

binds you with people… it is an aphrodisiac. It is not just listening, but not
allowing competing thoughts, acts and talks – those 7 minutes were solid 7
minutes of communications.  Foot ball is
played in 3 hours, but net play is only for an hour making every second of that
hour count.  

of the best things I have done in my life was – to sit by Mom in my last few
visits,  just sit next to her for three
to four hours and listen to her.  OMG, the
joy on her face made my life, and I can last through my end times with that
energy.  She probably knew that I was
sleeping when she was talking to me, however, my brain had figured out to keep
oon, ooing as if I was listening…  Does
that happen to you? Now I do the same with my sister and it is such a joy to
me, I mean really listen to her and not oon oon.

I am constantly making an effort to be a good listener, and trying
to see my gross and net time with the individual is the same.  I want to get it all in one shot, instead of
going back and figuring out.  Way back I
used to take notes, now I don’t. I want to listen and capture all of it, and
don’t want my mind to wander.  At times I
feel so good for being a good listener, and I wish I could score ‘A’ all the
times, but have learned to live with D’s once a while.  If you are monotonic like my mother and Henry
Kissinger, I am gone into the world of puffy clouds.

 Give it a shot to be a good listener,
you’ll love it.

Mike Ghouse is motivational speaker and a trainer committed to building cohesive work places and societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day.  Mike has been on Fox TV with Sean Hannity for over 100 shows, and equally on nationally syndicated radio talk shows. He has authored over 2500 articles and has two books on the horizon, as well as a film and a documentary in the making. His work is listed in 63 links at and his writings are at

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