Humor: How to start a fight with your wife

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I have always enjoyed “Laughter the best medicine” at Readers Digest. Many thanks to my friends from across the world who share laughter,  please share yours as well. It helps bring about a refreshing change in one’s moods. I enjoy it and I hope you do too. Its amazing how many of us get even now and then. I have my share of humor, but this one is not mine. Next time, how to start fight with husband.
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started…….
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My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started……..
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it  fixed.  But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the  boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny  pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I  came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you  might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
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