You’ll find an occasional sprinkling of Urdu/ Hindi/ Kannada/Telugu languages in all my essays written at this particular site, it is a personal site. I let my Indianness ooze out of me with frequent references to things that are Indian, however, pluralism* runs in my veins, you will find references to the wisdom of many religions in my writings. I don’t see the difference between a Muslim, Sikh, Hindu, Christian, or the other except the external symbols. We are culturally the same, we all enjoy the same things. The differences are manufactured by filthy politicians and I am not going to listen to their divisive BS. I have my own life to live like everyone else.
What is a Good Life?
Is it about having what others have, or living your own life? Until a decade ago I had a great materialistic life from the first point of view, but in the last several years, I’ve chosen to live my own life, a minimalist’s life, that is living with bare necessities with only what is needed. Indeed, happiness and desire for things are inversely proportional to each other. The enlightened Buddha drew a clear line – the source of misery is endless desire to have, and unable to fulfill them. It is a mirage of life.
If we focus on living our own lives, we’ll live happily. The problems begin when we want to have things that others have, there is no end to having things, and there is nothing wrong with wanting and having stuff if that is what you want. You choose your path and live up to it. Let living in peace be the goal of life and not chasing things to have.
I am hoping, each one of us can find a new mirror to see ourselves, and purposefully determine what we want out of life. Before my surgery that did not happen, instead, stents were placed without surgery. I had gathered most of my friends for a dinner event to clean the slate of life, should I not survive, that was in 2013 and I wrote and recited a poem.
Tum bhi ek din mar ja o’gay, hum bhi ek din mar’jayeingay
Ana ki Takraron ko mita kay, sukoon hum kab payeiengay?
One day, your life will come to an end, and mine too.
If we keep feeding our egos, when will we find peace?
When will we stop and smell the roses?
IT IS GOOD TO BE FREE
Whether it is new or an age-old tension between you and your sister, brother, parents, spouse or kids, relatives, and friends, customers, or clients, how long will you carry the burden?
Tum bhi ek din marja o’gay, o bhi ek din mar’jayeingay
Death will end the complaints anyway, then why do we need to carry the burden through death? Why not end them now and enjoy the rest of our lives? It is good to be free, free from anxieties and tensions.
Whether it is hatred for an individual, a group, or their faith, race, ethnicity, nationality, culture or other uniqueness, it is our burden, they quietly come and go, they may not even know about our hate, but we’d be still carrying the burden, anger, and pain. As a corollary, you or your friends may have loved someone intensely during your teen years without the other person even knowing about it. Pyaar huwa chup ke ke se, huwa tha na?
LET YOUR LOVED ONES BE FREE
All the stuff I have accumulated over the years would be useless whenever I croak. Unlike in India, where everything is saved and kept within the families, here in the US, it becomes a burden to the survivors. My kids, like all other kids in America, have their own stuff, they don’t need what their parents had. It would be a hassle for my kids to get rid of that crap (good stuff to me) should something happen to me, and my kids have zero interest in anything I own except the family pictures.
Why should my kids spend time disposing of the stuff they don’t need? Should I burden them with a sense of guilt to get rid of that (useless) stuff? Should I worry about what they will do to my stuff after I am gone? They have their own stuff they have accumulated as I did, and I should set them free to live their own lives.
I lived in a 5000 Square foot luxury home with lots of great furniture, paintings, silverware, expensive knick-knacks, one of the greatest sound systems, my personal library that overlooked the lake, four living rooms, and a Media room built to vibrate when Tyrannosaurus walked in the movie Jurassic Park. Coyote Ridge was one of the poshest neighborhoods in the City of Carrollton, Texas. I had everything, you name it, I had it. Three years ago, I gave away everything I had and chose to live in an apartment with bare necessities. The 4th copy of one of the Russian paintings that I gave away sold for 45,000 to a Bible Museum in Dallas. I did not flinch losing it. I am glad, I did not feel the blood rushing either. I had some extraordinary sandalwood carvings – I am happy I don’t have any of that and when I die, I will go with freedom. I am free now. “Ab shaad hoon main, azaad hoon main, kuch kaam nahin hai aahon say.”
Should I become a watchdog guarding my ego, my way of doing things, controlling, and seeking perfection in others? To be tense and give tension to others? It’s a choice we make, to enjoy life with or without the things we need, and do things that give us peace of mind.
Some of us spend the whole life trying to change others without giving them the same right. It is nothing but frustrations. If we can learn to accept the otherness of the others, the conflicts fade and solutions emerge. It’s sheer arrogance to believe that you are more privileged than the other. If you are miserable, the source of that misery is arrogance.
The wisdom from the Quran moves me is this – God (or nature) has created all of us from a single couple, obviously, years ago, we started with a single couple. Then we multiplied into many families, communities, tribes, and nations, and along with we chose to wear different costumes, eat and drink different things, and even started believing in different explanations about the creation and purpose of life. The Quran says the best one among is the one who ‘learns’ about each other. When we learn about each other myths disappear, and respect for each other develops – leading to peace and harmony among each other.
By the way, I do not consider the Quran is a book for Muslims, nor Gita for Hindus, Torah for Jews or Bible, and other books for Christians and others. They are all books of wisdom for helping humanity live in harmony, and that is all God wants.
I FOUND MY MIRROR
With a few exceptions that I regret, I have not maligned anyone in my life or gone around telling bad things about others, have not done the backbiting either. I have no grudges in my heart either. Yes, I feel sorry for the acts of the individuals but not them, everyone is redeemable. The four people in power I have difficulty with for their attitudes are Modi, Netanyahu, Bush, and Trump – I hope they seek praischit (repentance and regret combined) and find love for fellow humans and live freely. There is nothing like freedom from ill-will for others.
Asking others to forgive you for your shortcomings is not giving away control of your life, but giving an expression of how you feel. If they act up, you forgive them and move on. Let it not be you who gives up on hope.
Let’s tie the loose ends of life, every day and live a full life! My mother tied the loose ends and went to paradise (to me, paradise is a state of mind free from anxieties) with a smile on her face, and I was able to facilitate Najma, my late wife to do the same, both left in peace.
Michami Dukadam** friends. Let’s start our life afresh with a clean slate, now, from today!
I went to Dallas to attend celebrating Coke Buchanan’s life who had passed away a week ago, he was a great soul. It was time to reflect on life. While there, I went around in Plano with my son and his family. The quality of life is undoubtedly far better here than most places to raise a family, and the amenities and facilities were incredible. Momentarily I felt the tinge to live that life again, “they have it, and I want to have it too.” but I am glad I got over it the very next moment.
Plano and Richardson are beautiful cities with God’s diversity of creation, people of different races, faiths, and ethnicities were all there. I went to watch my Grandson play soccer indoors, and it was a joy to see all of God’s creation there.
On the way back home to DC, I was sitting on the plane next to a friendly sociable woman, and we had a good healthy conversation over a period of four hours. She had so many experiences to share, and occasionally my mind wandered at the possibility of taking this conversation further, and each time, I dropped the idea. Thanks to the problem in the plane, it was delayed by an hour and I was secretly humming the song, “Aye abr-e Karam, aaj itna baras..” followed by the Kannada song, Amara Madhura prema, ni ba begaa chanda mama.”
As we landed at Reagan Airport and walked towards the baggage, another song helped me preserve those beautiful moments in the plane, “Chalte Chalte, younhi koi mil gaya tha.” In the journey of life, I ran into someone, those few moments were pleasant, and let them remain so, and let them remain a dream. We parted, I did not ask for her phone number nor did she.
For a few moments the desire to live that life again surfaced, but I am glad, I quickly came out of it and woke up reminding myself of what I’ve chosen. My commitment is to Pluralism, and I should stick to it until the Center of Pluralism is doing everything I wanted it to do. I have to live a purposeful life and leave behind ideas and practices that may benefit one soul or the other. This is not a noble thing, Godly thing, or a great thing, it is simply what I want to contribute to my planet, as the Bhagavad Gita calls it, do my dharma. It is my own selfish desire, I am fulfilling.
We create our own desires to “own things” and spend our lives achieving them. Nothing wrong with it, but that puts us on the race track and prevent us from stopping and smelling the roses. My ex-wife set a good example for our kids – they remained focused on living a happy life and not seeking rich spouses as most Indian parents/kids do as if our kids cannot make it on their own. Every time I see my kids, the joyous life they are living makes me happy. I am thrilled my son retired, and instead of chasing more money, he chose to become a grade school teacher, to teach at underprivileged schools where good teachers opt-out. There is joy in serving others. Again, not a noble thing, but a source of serenity.
The minimalist life also requires us to get rid of ill-will hatred, neuter the desire to avenge or revenge others. It is not worth it. And lastly, if you are biased towards Jews, Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Sikhs, Dalits, blacks or whites, and others, get rid of it. None of your religions teaches you to hurt others based on my studies and confidence about almost all religions. If you did not get the other religions “right” let alone, your own, ask me or read my writings and books. You will find peace and achieve mukti, moksha, salvation, and nirvana. The blissful state of mind that puts an eternal smile on your face.
Spiritual freedom is indeed the greatest achievement in one’s life and it permanently clings to you till eternity. Those of us, who can free ourselves from tension, pain, anxiety, prejudice, apprehension, hostility, malice, pressure, tension, stress, strain, and conflicts, are showered with blessings of peace and joy. It is good to be free.
* Pluralism is an Indian value that I cherish and proudly present it to my fellow Americans. Unfortunately, it is becoming increasingly difficult to say, it is an Indian value, it has been decimated since Modi came to power. But I believe politicians come, do the damage, and go. We have to live together and we have to work back restoring righteousness in India and Indians are inherently pluralistic and democratic, it is embedded into their genes for over 5000 years, no ideology can tamper with it in the long haul. Pluralism is defined as respecting the otherness of the other’s religion, race, ethnicity, culture, and shape.
** Michami Dukkadam is a phrase Jains use to clean each other’s slates by forgiving and seeking forgiveness from each other. This phrase has become a part of my life, I even explained it to the interfaith gathering at my late wife’s funeral prayers in Richardson, Mosque.
Tying the loose ends of life – the real story of my late wife Najma
http://mikeghouseforamerica.blogspot.com/2008/06/celebration-of-spirit-of-volunteerism.html
Mike Ghouse